Why Can't I Breathe?
by Mayuka
Summary: Sequel to Mad About You. After Kai and Ayame's inevitable breakup, bonds are torn, new friends are made, and love is taken through the ultimate test of strength. Will Kai and Ayame's love be able to make the cut? Please R&R!
1. Whenever I Think About You

Why Can't I Breathe? 

Chapter 1: Whenever I Think About You

AN: Yes, this is the sequel to Mad About You. ^_^ It's not called "Still Mad About You" like I originally thought, but I really like that Liz Phair song, so I decided to use it. And it works better. I finally got down to business. Thanks for all of your reviews guys. I write better fics because of your reviews! Hope you like this one as much as you liked the other! 

*

Kai stared up at the white ceiling of his second period art classroom, fiddling with his pencil. He was trying to balance it on his nose. Mrs. Ainoe was dribbling nonsense anyway, as usual, so Kai figured there was nothing to pay attention to. 

The other students must have believed the same thing, because they were all laughing or talking quietly as well. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Max, Rei, Tyson, and Kenny all conversing in the far corner of the room. 

Their silly little group….. 

Kai flinched as memories of them flooded into his brain. They used to be his group too. His _friends_. He had been a member of that group for a brief moment in time as well. He pushed those thoughts out of his head as he continued to concentrate on balancing the pencil on his nose. 

As soon as he thought he had had it perfectly balanced, a buzz rung through his ears, destroying his concentration. He had created his own alarm. An alarm to inform him that _she_ was nearby. 

That girl who had so easily broken his heart. Not that it was her fault. It was Kai's own fault, really. 

Kai's heart pounded hard in his chest, and his ears were still ringing. It was as if someone were yelling "danger!" and red lights were going off inside his head. 

Ayame Hamaguchi entered the classroom at 7:25am, knowing that second period clearly started at 7:15am. Of course, no one cared that she was late; Mrs. Ainoe didn't even say anything, she just nodded to sit down. Ayame was always late, not because she was a bad student, but because she was a complete klutz. 

She barely looked at Kai as she sat down immediately with Rei, Max, Tyson, and Kenny. They all greeted her happily and informed her of what they were talking about before. Once she was clued in, Ayame joined in to the conversation, all of them completely oblivious that Kai was listening. 

"I haven't done my art project yet," Tyson was saying loudly, even though they were supposed to be listening to the teacher. "I'm too sleepy." 

"It's important that we do our project though, guys. It's 1/3 of our final grade," Kenny chimed in. 

"I don't even have a partner, and it's due Friday," Ayame spoke out loud to herself, and Rei nodded. 

"Yeah, I heard." 

"You know Aya, if you would just talk to Kai-" Tyson interjected. 

Sirens were wailing in his head again, and Kai immediately turned around and pretended not to listen. 

Tyson had definitely hit a nerve in Ayame's brain too. She flinched for a second and then her face went blank. 

"I already told you guys a thousand times. Kai and I have nothing to talk about anymore. We're complete opposites, and we were never really friends before. I don't know why I even liked him." 

So that was it. 

Plain and simple. 

For months it had gone on that way between them. Neither of them saying anything to each other, Ayame spending all her time with her friends, Kai being alone. 

Alone. Kai hated that word, but it was the only way to describe himself. He had been alone when he had come to this town, and he was alone now. 

For a brief period in time Kai had believed that Ayame was the only person he could truly love and be friends with, the only person to take away his pain, and the only person who…. Well, it didn't matter anymore anyway. 

They weren't friends. 

They never were. 

That was the long and short of it. 

Kai could be as nonchalant and uncaring as he wanted, but Ayame knew that he had once cared for her, and Kai knew the same was true about her. They just couldn't love each other anymore. They just couldn't. 

__

Bing. The end of class. Thank God the torture was over for this class period. 

WAAAAIIIITTTTT! Kai shivered, remembering that he had English next period. English with Max, Rei, Tyson, and Ayame. DAMNIT! 

__

Time for more torture, Kai mused to himself. He grabbed his things and headed out the door before anyone else even had time to look at it. 

Kai decided that 2 periods in a row was too much torture for him today, so he decided to skip his next class. Headed for the upstairs bathroom, the best spot in the whole school to hook class, Kai quickly stopped at his locker to put his bag away. He knew he wouldn't need it until after lunch anyway. 

Upon entering the bathroom, Kai recognized the familiar smell of cigarettes and dirty bathroom stalls. It was not a pleasant combination. There were 3 other guys in the bathroom with him, which wasn't very many for the usual amount of class cutters, but it was enough to make Kai uncomfortable anyway. He didn't mind sharing the bathroom with anyone else, but when they were all staring at you and smoking, it got weird. So Kai headed into the nearest stall and stood there for a minute or two, listening to their boring conversation. Then, when he could take no more mindless babble, he pretended to flush the toilet and leave. 

Was there no justice in this world? Why couldn't anyone have any good conversations anymore? Kai wandered the halls for a while and then headed to lunch 5 minutes early. Maybe he could find a seat by himself this time, instead of sitting with a bunch of preps like he had the previous day. 

Kai had just sat down when the bell rang. Great, torture, round 3. As he sat and watched all of the students come flooding into the cafeteria, Kai realized that he had no lunch yet. He rarely ate anyway, but today Kai was feeling exceptionally hungry. He stood and got in the long line. He stared at the floor almost the entire time, though when someone tapped him on the shoulder he turned. 

It was Tatsuhiko. 

"Hey dude. Sup?" He had taken a liking to Kai ever since he had broken things off with Ayame. Still, Kai wasn't sure whether he was Tatsuhiko's friend or not. At least they weren't enemies anymore, though. 

"Nothing." Tatsuhiko's smile changed almost immediately. 

"So have a look over there," he said darkly, pointing towards his old lunch table. "That guy just asked Aya on a date. It wasn't direct, but he wants her real bad, man. I think she accepted his offer too, I was too much in shock to listen to the rest. Just wanted to give you a heads up, and-" 

Kai wasn't listening anymore. His ears had started ringing again, and he could have cried had he not been in a crowded cafeteria near his former rival. He wanted to die right there instead of hearing about Ayame going out with some other guy. Tala had been enough pain for Kai to bear, and now some other guy had stolen here again? The one person Kai wanted to be able to love in the world. 

The only one. 

Kai felt like he was breaking into two people - the side that wanted to be with Ayame again, and the side that wanted, no, needed, to be away from her. 

"Something has to be done about this," Tatsuhiko muttered to Kai, and Kai secretly nodded to himself. 

"Yes, it does." He wasn't talking about the new guy as Tatsuhiko was; he was talking about himself, about his own feelings.

AN: So what'd you think? It'll get even more intense soon. ^_^ Please review guys. If not, I won't keep going. Love you all again!


	2. Whenever I Talk About You

****

Why Can't I Breathe?

Chapter 2: Whenever I Talk About You

AN: Thanks for all of your support everyone! I hope you guys like this chapter as much as the first one! Please keep reviewing! Oh, and there is a kiss alert in this chappie. 

*

Kai kissed her fervently. He wanted to devour all of her; he wanted her to love him again. 

His lips smashed against hers as hard as they could, and she kissed him back just as forcefully. He began to reach for the buttons on her shirt and tried to open it as best he could. She reached the bottom of his shirt first, and she pulled it over his head furiously. They both agreed that clothing was a burden neither of them wanted between them ever again. 

Just as Kai had gotten her shirt off, his dream had ended. God, how he wished it was real. 

He had almost actually believed that the occurrences were really happening. Kai had promised himself that he could NOT love Ayame, and yet again he had allowed himself to give in. How could he possibly fight his own carnal desires when even his dreams were against him? It was simply impossible, and he knew it. 

He just hated loving her so much. 

Kai climbed out of bed quickly, threw his sheets in the wash (for the fourth time that week), and took a shower. Then he got dressed quickly and grabbed a bagel on the way out the door. 

It was a Saturday, so he had no idea what he was going to do at all, especially now that he had lost touch with his old "friends". The only reason he left the house so early was so that he didn't have to hear his grandfather taunting him once he finally heard the washing machine. 

The words of a song suddenly popped into his head. As he thought about it, his life was exactly like the song. It described him perfectly. He started repeating the words out loud. 

__

"Please help me 'cause I'm breaking down,  
this picture's frozen and I can't get out.

Please help me cause I'm breaking down,

this picture's frozen and I can't get out of here;  
Believe me, I'm just as lost as you." [1]

Yes, it sounded like him a lot. Kai felt as though he was trapped in a picture, one that stayed the same; always. It was as though his life kept repeating itself, no matter where he was, no matter what he tried to alter. 

Kai knew that if he could go back in time to try to make sure that he'd never meet and fall in love with Aya, he'd still be sure to fall for her again. It was fate, and somehow, he knew that nothing he could do would change it. 

While this was all going on inside Kai's head, he was still walking, not realizing where he was going. Suddenly he looked up, and he realized that he had found his way outside Max's house. He didn't know where Max, Rei, Tyson, or Kenny lived, so it was pretty obvious that he'd end up here. This was the only one of their houses that he'd ever been to. 

Kai found himself knocking on the door. After two knocks he assumed that Max wasn't home, but as he turned to walk away, Max's father answered the door. 

"Kai?" Mr. Tate said, assuming that Kai would acknowledge him. 

"Oh, hi. Is Max home?" 

Mr. Tate regained his composure after the obvious surprise that Kai was standing on his doorstep. 

"No, sorry, Kai. He's at Tatsuhiko's house with Rei, Tyson, and Kenny. He's your friend too, isn't he? They left about an hour ago. Do you know where Tatsuhiko lives?" 

"No." 

"It's about a block down, on this same street. The address is 2447, if you want to go there and find him." 

"Thanks." Kai turned and walked away without so much as a goodbye to Mr. Tate. 

He didn't know whether or not he should go to Tatsuhiko's or not, but he walked in that direction anyway. He knew he should just follow his heart anyway; fate would direct him in the same direction anyway, no matter what he did. He knew that now. 

He needed something to do anyway. 

When Kai arrived at Tatsuhiko's house, he hesitated. He wanted to knock, but he heard laughter coming from inside, and he knew that everyone was together. If he knocked now, they'd all stare. He didn't want that at all, especially since he hadn't talked to 4/5 of them for months. 

Still, he knocked lightly, intending to leave if they didn't hear him. He prayed that they didn't too, so he'd have an excuse to leave. 

So such luck. 

He looked up as the door opened, and he locked eyes with Ayame. She was obviously just as surprised and nervous as he was. 

"Kai?"

"Ayame?" 

AN: 

[1] The song is Still Fame, by Trapt. 

HAHA! The end. This chapter is super short because I'm tired. I just typed the third chapter of my other BB fanfic too (Trapped! 2: Beyblade), and I wanted this to be the ultimate cliffhanger. ^__^ So review and the next chapter will be out soon. 


	3. It's Inevitable

Why Can't I Breathe?

Chapter 3: It's Inevitable

Author's Notes: Oh. My. God. I can't believe it's really been almost 5 months! I've missed this story so much! Geez. I'll try and make this chapter longer to make it up to y'all. To refresh your memories, I'll remind you where I left off.

He looked up as the door opened, and he locked eyes with Ayame. She was obviously just as surprised and nervous as he was.

"Kai?"

"Ayame?"

Kai could barely stand the sight of her. It was like someone where gouging out his eyes, trying to make the situation even more awkward.

If that was possible.

"Why are you here?" Kai was very certain that he hadn't meant to simply blurt that out to her face, especially considering that he wasn't supposed to be here either. He knew very well that Max, Tyson, Kenny, and Rei were not to be considered his friends anymore, let alone Ayame. So why had he come here looking for them in the first place?

Ayame seemed surprised by his statement as well, and she also looked like she was fighting back the pain in her eyes. Not wanting to say something else stupid, Kai pathetically waited for her response. Ayame heaved in a huge breath before looking at Kai one last time.

The she shut the door hard in his face.

It was amazing to him that such a giggly, innocent girl could do that to him. He felt as though he should bother her again for being so rude, but he knew he had no right. He was the one who had loved her, broken her heart, and then showed up at HER friends house with something dumb to say.

Kai stood there a long time, trying to recollect himself and identify his next move. _Go home and stop thinking about her. Ignore your grandfather's ridicule, and go back to bed. You don't have to take this bullshit._ That should have been his next move, and he knew it. Still, after this last, new encounter with his first love, he was intrigued, and slightly frightened to just leave. He knocked on the door again, and this time Tatsuhiko answered.

"Hey Kai!" He lowered his voice. "Ya know, this may not be the best of times. Aya just told us that she," he paused and winced, "slammed the door in your face."

"Yeah." He hesitated, no sure why he was still here. Then he sighed. He had to do this eventually. "Could I just talk to her a moment?" Tatsuhiko looked taken aback, but he nodded.

"If she'll agree to it." He stepped out of the way and allowed Kai to enter his house. Kai ignored the décor of the house; he was simply looking for Ayame. As he entered the living room, he noticed Rei, Max, Tyson, and Kenny all staring at him as though he were something inhuman. They weren't disgusted at the sight of him, just incredibly surprised. The TV was on in front of them, but no one seemed to remember that it existed at the moment.

"Kai?" Max asked slowly, his mouth still hanging open, as though he weren't really there.

Kai swallowed hard and managed to get out "Where's Ayame?" Max shut his mouth quickly and pointed around the corner. Kai headed towards the kitchen slowly, as though a wild tiger might escape and tackle him. He heard sobbing noises from the bathroom and knocked lightly.

"Aya, is that you?" The sobbing subsided momentarily, and then the door opened. Ayame peered out reluctantly, the hint of tears still in her eyes.

__

"Why are you here?" she asked, repeating Kai's words from earlier. He knew that she was mocking him.

Not that he didn't deserve it.

Kai stared at her for what seemed like an eternity. He wanted to tell her that he was here because he still loved her. That he didn't mean to hurt her. That he wanted to be like all of those other guys who risked it all for love. But he knew he couldn't do that.

The truth was simply that he couldn't do this again. It just hurt him so much. He loved her so much, and yet, he couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't take it back, he couldn't change himself, and he couldn't stop her hurt.

"I'm sorry." It was terrible, but those were the only words that could exit his mouth at the moment. There was nothing else he could say to convey his feelings.

Ayame looked up at him, her eyes staring dangerously into his. He knew she wanted to reconcile things with him, and he knew that if they didn't become friends soon he'd explode.

"You really hurt me, Kai," was all she said. She looked down at her feet.

"I know," Kai found himself saying. "And I'm sorry." He couldn't believe he had actually forced those words to come out of his mouth. He meant it though. There was no doubt about that.

Ayame seemed quite surprised herself. She stared up at him in awe, but she tried to hide it.

"So now what?" she asked slowly, looking back at her feet. "Things obviously can't go back to the way that they were." Kai silently agreed with her.

"And I can't guarantee that it won't happen again," Kai said, his voice barely audible. When he saw the look on Ayame's face, he added, "Not that I won't be making giant personality strides towards good mental health." Aya smiled.

"Well you got that much right. You _aren't_ mentally healthy," she said with a small laugh. Kai smirked.

"I guess I'm not totally there," he admitted.

"Yeah, well, you've had a lot to deal with in your lifetime." Kai shrugged at her words. "So are we okay, then? At least friends?" Kai looked at her for a moment and let out a half-smile.

"Yeah. As long as we keep it from being too awkward." Ayame sighed and wiped her eyes.

"The others are probably wondering what's going on. Let's go and tell them that we're cool again." Kai nodded and followed her around the corner to the others.

As soon as they entered the living room, Kai was pretty sure that the others had been eavesdropping. They were all trying to avert their eyes from both Kai and Ayame, but he smirked at Tyson, who was the only one who had blatantly been staring at them the entire time.

"Well? Since you're all so nosy, do you have any questions?" Kai asked, half- serious. Max and Rei shrugged. Tatsuhiko looked worried.

"Are you two together again?" he asked, staring anxiously at Kai. When they had first met, Kai didn't like Tatsuhiko, but once he and Ayame had severed ties, they had become close friends. Well, as close as anyone could get to Kai.

"Not. We're just friends." Tatsuhiko breathed a sigh of relief and looked back at the TV.

"So are ya staying, Kai?" Rei asked him.

"Doesn't matter," he said indifferently, but he and Ayame did sit down on the floor with the others.

Tyson was the only one who still looked at Kai rather angrily. Kai was the only one who seemed to notice his expression.

"Are you going to tell me why you look like you're ready to kill me, or do I have to guess?" he asked sarcastically. The others all looked over at the two of them.

"I'm just upset that you leave for so long, don't say _anything_ to us for months, and then come back and expect us to accept you back as our friend." Tyson's expression was looking quite bitter now. Kai frowned.

Tyson _was_ right. It had been a long time, and it wasn't really right of him to just come back into their lives when he'd been out of them for so long. He'd been so caught up in getting back on Ayame's good side that he had forgotten his other friends. He hadn't even apologized to them for ditching them.

"You're right, Tyson," Kai said hesitantly. "But I won't say anymore, because I can't apologize enough. Plus, I don't usually do apologies well." He looked at Ayame on the last part, and she averted her eyes back to the TV. Tyson seemed to accept his answer.

"Well, I guess if you did apologize too much, you wouldn't be Kai," he said matter-of-factly. Kenny and Max looked at each other and smiled.

"I guess everything's getting back to normal then," Max commented.

"As normal as it gets around here," Kenny mused. Ayame smiled.

Author's notes: Well, I hope you enjoyed that. It's not too long, but then, I don't usually write long chapters, do I? Please review everyone!


	4. Author's Note: PLEASE READ!

Why Can't I Breathe? Author's Note 

Sorry I left everyone hanging for so long.

In case you were wondering, this fanfiction is on hiatus. I don't think I'll continue it. Maybe I'll finish it in the summer, maybe not. I've just been incredibly busy with school and whatnot for the past…. err, almost year. Hey, I'm in 11th grade now. I don't have time for Beyblade just at this moment. Plus I've had writer's block for the past year, not to mention the fact that I've lost a lot of interest in anime.

Anyway, whether I continue this story or not, I wanted to thank everyone read this and _Mad About You_. It's important to me that you care so much. I've just been heading towards writing original stories lately. Fanfiction is nice, but I feel like I'm just feeding off of someone else's ideas, someone else's show. Writing my own stories is much more fulfilling to me, and that's probably what I'll do from now on. You can't get published writing fanfics. Not that I'll get published, but if I ever finish one of my more recent stories, I might attempt it at least.

But I digress. My point is that I was so excited to get over 150 reviews on _Mad About You_, and almost 40 more on this story. It means a lot, and if I never finish this story and never update my account again, I just wanted to mention that. I love all of you guys!

Much love,

Mayuka

XOXOXOXO

**P.S. **If you're interested in my more recent ORIGINAL stories, you can find them at FictionPress .com under the same username: Mayuka.


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